When Violet and Mark Cummings go out in public today, they are treated like any other heterosexual couple. Mark was born female, and had surgery and hormone therapy to become a man.
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By PHIL LAPADULA
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Mark Cummings and his wife, Violet, celebrate two wedding anniversaries. The couple first tied the knot Aug. 4, 2003, on a Sunset Cruise in Key West. At the time, Cummings was still a woman, so the same-sex commitment ceremony was not recognized as a legal marriage in the state of Florida. But then, on Feb. 6, 2004, Mark and Violet Cummings officially became man and wife at a courthouse in Hollywood, Fla. That marriage was recognized by the state of Florida.
Less than two months earlier, on Dec. 22, 2003, Cummings completed a four-month surgical procedure to change from a woman to a man. To some people, changing genders may seem like a drastic life transition. But Cummings said he sees it as simply “aligning my body to fit my mind and spirit.”
Mark Angelo Cummings, 42, was born Maritza Delcarmen Perdomo in Cuba. His family moved to the United States when he was 4 years old.
“Since I was 3 years old, I knew that something wasn’t right,” Cummings said. He always felt as if he was a boy, not a girl, he said. Growing up in El Paso, Tex., from age 13 to 17 he was “pretty much a loner,” he said.
“I didn’t feel like I fit into the gay community,” he said. “I felt like a guy, and I wanted to date heterosexual females.”
In March 2006, Cummings published a book about his life, “The Mirror Makes No Sense.” The book begins with his birth as a baby girl, and ends with his operation to become a man.
“Ever since I was a kid, I would look at myself in the mirror, and it just made no sense,” Cummings said. “It didn’t reflect the way I felt. The reflection I saw in the mirror didn’t match what was in my heart and mind.”
Acceptance in Latin community
As a first-generation Cuban-American, Cummings grew up in a Latin culture in which acceptance has often been elusive for gays and lesbians, let alone transgendered people. But Cummings said “one of the biggest surprises” of his post-operative life was “the acceptance I’ve received from the Latin community.”
Cummings has appeared on a total of 11 Latin TV shows, including the popular “Christina.” He also recently spoke at the 2006 National Conference on Latinos and AIDS, held in July in Miami Beach.
“All of the Latin people on the shows, the camera crews, etc., have been very respectful of me,” Cummings said. “Latin audiences have actually opened up their doors to me as far as wanting me to educate them. I’m probably the first one who’s explained to them that it’s not a sin; it’s a birth defect.”
Violet Cummings met Mark four years ago at the Bally’s gym in Pembroke Pines. She conceded that she didn’t know whether he was a man or a woman when she first saw him.
“But I knew he was different,” she said. “He was taking hormones for body building, so he was getting facial hair and his voice was low.”
She recalled that it took her three months to get up the nerve to talk to him. Once she did, she felt an instant connection.
“He was so nice and polite to me,” she said. “I had been married twice before, and I’ve never met anyone who is as kind, understanding and compassionate as Mark. That’s what attracted me to him: his heart.”
Cummings currently runs his own salon and personal fitness studio called Bodies Under Construction, Inc. He and his wife both provide fitness training at the gym. Cummings is also an occupational therapist who works with people in rehab from injuries.
Cummings said transgendered people e-mail him from all over the world. He has met many transgendered friends through a website called Successful TransMen, which posts photos of female-to-male transgendered men and their profiles in several languages. Recently, he has been corresponding with a young transgendered man in Iraq, he said.
Violet Cummings said she enjoys working with her husband at the couple’s fitness studio and helping him to share his story with others.
“We’re educators and advocates for transsexuality together,” she said.
The website for Cummings’ fitness studio includes a lot of advocacy information regarding transgender issues.
Transgender people
face medical challenges
From a medical standpoint, making the transition from a female to a male is not an easy thing for the body to undertake, Cummings noted. Post-operative transgendered people must have constant hormonal screenings.
“If they are not maintained in the right balance, the hormones can create problems, including high blood pressure, high cholesterol and depression,” Cummings said.
Transgender individuals are encouraged to avoid alcoholic beverages because “alcohol doesn’t interact well with the hormones,” Cummings said.
In addition, many female-to-male transgender people have to deal with urinary tract infections because of the hysterectomy, Cummings said. Gastrointestinal problems can also occur, he added.
And according to Cummings, it is not that easy to find a doctor who does sex-change operations.
“There aren’t many doctors who do sex changes,” he said. “They don’t want to take healthy tissue out of a woman. They’re afraid someone will turn around and sue them.”
After the operation, finding a general practitioner who understands the issues of transgendered people can be even more difficult, he said.
“Most doctors don’t have a clue about transgenders,” Cummings said. “It’s difficult to find general practitioners who have sensitivity to the issue.”
Mixed responses from
family members
Besides the medical challenges, Violet Cummings said the biggest challenge has been the lack of acceptance from some family members.
“I have six siblings, and some of them are accepting,” she said. “But some of them are not accepting at all.”
Mark said it surprised him that his father has been more accepting and comfortable with the situation than his mother.
“Coming from a Cuban background, that surprised me,” Cummgings said. “My mother is not comfortable with it at all. She still doesn’t use male pronouns in referring to me.”
Cummings said most people, incuding his mother, have difficulty understanding why he always felt like a man, even though he was born female.
“Many people have no clue where it stems from,” he said. “The majority just think people are strange and that they get a fetish one morning and decide to change their sex. They don’t realize it’s a birth defect.”
Social benefits
Having been in a relationship with Mark both before and after his transition, Violet said the biggest benefit of his sex-change operation is that they are now treated just like any ordinary heterosexual couple when they go out in public.
“We can blend into society, and no one stares at us,” she said. “Before, when he was a female, people would stare at him like he was a freak because he looked so much like a man but they could still tell he was a female.”
Indeed, the post-operative photos of Mark Cummings show a handsome, muscular man with a hairy chest and neatly trimmed facial hair. The casual observer who doesn’t know about Cummings’ past as a female wouldn’t think twice about whether or not Cummings is a man.
But for Cummings, there is a world of difference. Now, he says, the mirror no longer lies. His reflection today is the way he has always seen himself.
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