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Thursday, May 15, 2008
Remember to take off your Prince Albert before heading to the airport. I'd hate to be wanded with that thing on. I can just hear the guard saying, "Y'got balls o' steel or sumthin'?"
OK, I give up: other than the historical reference to the Crown, what is a Prince Albert?
I'm so glad the police are cracking down on prostitution. They are a threat to my security. The rapists, murderers and armed robbers don't bother me much. I never did mind about the little things!
The fact that Louis Vuitton uses Mikhail Gorbachev and Keith Richards in their ads goes to show you just how unfashionable those crappy bags are!
Why do gay advertisers continually paint gay youth as hopelessly licentious, angry heathens sporting the most disdainful facial expressions they can muster? Is the objective to appear more rough and straight and therefore more attractive? It's not working.
It’s true that gays voting for McCain would be breaking the gay stereotype. Since when do gays prefer old versus young?
Shirtless men do not sell products unless they have a nice body.
While viewing photos of the recent Youth Pride Day, I was overcome with a feeling of gratitude that my youth was experienced during the 80s, a period largely free of the freaks and other exotica that comprise such a large part of today's youth.
Can we retire this whole ass-shaving trend please? It seems like an awful lot of work, and three days later it feels like I'm having sex with a cheese grater.
Obama is getting a free ride in the media just like George Bush. Look where that got us.
Gays are vampires: they suck the life right out of you. The hostility and narcissism of gay culture forces some guys into alcoholism and drug addiction to escape and assuage low self-esteem. Dismissed, they manipulate and alienate others with anger and resentment. No Kool-Aid for me, thanks.
Who goes to Disney World to find a hottie unless they're a pedophile?
Honey if you think a 55-year-old queen can be youthful and eye catching then what the hell have you been snorting? You're delusional!
Vomit can be erotic when I'm the cause.
Oh, get over yourself. If someone is excluding you and your weird friends, it's probably your and their own fault.
"Bitch session is like a sounding board for everything everyone is thinking but nobody says." Thanks for the news flash, Tom Brokaw. Did you also discover that water is wet?
To the gaysian guy a decade younger than me with a good job and great in bed that I hooked up with a few months ago and then wouldn't return your calls: I've read on Bitch Sesson that you were for real after all. Can we start over?
My partner and I like to go to a gay bar whose patrons are all well behaved. Down the street is a straight bar that always has at least two police cars out front. Guess which bar is characterized as a neighborhood liability.
Maybe they could start printing the Bitch Session on toilet paper. Wiping my ass with it is just about the only thing it’s good for.
That bitch who proclaimed another shouldn't buy pricey jeans because he can make $90 in 10 years on that $200 is hysterical. At a profit of less than $10 a year, why not just buy the jeans and skip Starbucks once every six months!
Why would a chick take Viagra? It already looks scary enough.
If a guy is great but you're not attracted to him, is that shallow or just realistic?
Finally people are figuring you out for what you are, a drama queen who is still mad that I had the balls to leave you.
Editor’s note: These are real bitches, sent in by real readers, about gay life’s little annoyances, and the big ones, too.
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